Everything is energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed. So if we are also energy, what then can we do about the ‘shadow’ parts of us we so desperately wish weren’t there? Perhaps it’s the way we behave or look, thoughts we have or things we say. How do we stop them, how do we change them, how do we get rid of them? Quite simply, we can’t. But we can do something… Energy can be transmuted. And the way we do that is through loving the whole Self.

One particular client was suffering from a chronic illness and the associated pain and symptoms had recently intensified. She told me she was unable to find any answers from doctors and specialists. No medication seems to be easing the discomfort and pain. The problem with a chronic illness like hers is that the effects ripple throughout the person’s entire life. She needs to take time off work, and all of her medical expenses need to paid for, she is also a mother and a partner and cannot function in these roles to her full capacity either. As we can all imagine, she was sacred, frustrated and angry. She was also angry at her body. She half-jokingly said, “for all the digestion issues, you’d think at least I’d have lost more weight!”

We are so quick to judge our physical bodies. We rarely take the time to truly appreciate them until something happens and they let us down, we get angry that they aren’t working to their full potential. After all of the things it does for us and never gives up despite what we may put it through, we are so quick to give up on it when it truly needs us.

Chronic illness or chronic pain appears to be a physical manifestation; a dis-ease of our health and wellbeing. It never appears immediately. It starts off as something small and sometimes we are aware of the signs and sometimes we are not. Regardless, it manifests in a way that we can no longer ignore it and then if it is left long enough, will become a central part ( a hindrance) of our day to day life. Whatever the manifestation though, it always has a spiritual, emotional and/or mental connection also.

Your dis-ease becomes a part of you, just like every other part of you. And so, it is worthy of your love and appreciation, just as much as all the other areas. Our illness or pain is always a gift to us, a message or insight into something that needs our attention. It’s not until we stop and listen that we can actually begin the true path to healing. Even if medication helps, it is only a temporary solution; a cover up to a bigger, hidden issue that needs to be revealed and nurtured.

So how do we heal those shadow parts of us? The more you wish it weren’t there, the more it will find ways to show up. Remembering that energy cannot just disappear, it has to be transformed somehow. So, whether it’s an illness, a behaviour pattern or the way you look, the first thing to do is start acknowledging how you treat your shadow.

What kinds of things do you say about it? Do you label it as good or bad? Or do you ignore it? Or do you even give it a separate name?

I remember during my darkest days, I would talk about my mental health and disordered eating patterns as if they were part of a different person. I didn’t want my Self to be associated with ‘her’. In fact, my whole approach to recovery was to try to get rid of her. The truth is that she wasn’t and isn’t separate from me. She isn’t even my shadow. She is me. She’s just the parts of me that need more love. Now, even though those days feel like they are very much in the past, part of my own journey of healing has been to return to her and still give her the love she needed back then and still does. After all, time is an artefact of our perception. And the work we can do to heal our past selves, inner children, etc has an incredibly positive effect on our present too.

At the highest level, the parts of ourselves that we feel are unworthy are labelled that way by our own judgement. Even calling your parts of Self light and dark is a story you have created and assumed. So, the beautiful thing is that you get to rename and rethink those parts of Self and you get to decide the kind of relationship you want to have with your Self, your whole Self.

Everything we are is exactly as we need to be for this soul’s ride right now. Mother Nature doesn’t banish her imperfections. They are just as important as the rest. She doesn’t decide that parts of the tree are a disappointment. Each part of the tree plays its role, just as each part of you is important too.

That’s not to say you can’t meet yourself where you are right now, wholly. Love your Self and still strive to be the very best version of you. But where you are right now, what you are right now is worth trusting in and worth loving… In fact, those darkest parts are worth loving even more because they’re the ones you’re wanting to transform.

Crystal meditation to cultivate more love to the whole Self

You will need three Rose Quartz crystals (as big or small as you like). Laying down, place one of the crystals on each area of the Third Eye, Throat and between the Sacral and Base Chakras.

Take a deep breath in and out and centre yourself. Bringing your awareness and focus on your breath. With each breath in start to shift the focus on to your crystals. Rose Quartz is the crystal for unconditional love. Become aware of its loving energy around you and within you. Yo may feel, sense or see this love.

Allow yourself to let go and be bathed in the loving energy of Rose Quartz. Allow love to pulsate throughout every atom of your being, You are now radiating loving energy.

Once you start to feel connected to your Rose Quartz, shift your focus to the shadow part of you needing love today. Where is it located? Connect with it as much as you can without judgement. What does it look like? Does it have a colour or shape? If you could touch it what would it feel like? Is it big or small?

Now shifting back to the crystals. Breathe in the loving energy of your Rose Quartz and as you breathe out, breathe love towards your shadow. Wrap it in unconditional love. Continue breathing love and light onto your illness/unwanted behaviour until you start to feel it getting smaller, fading away. Until eventually you cannot see it anymore and it has seamlessly dissolved into the loving energy.

Repeat and do this meditation as long as you like.

In love and light 

Loretta xo

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