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It doesn’t matter how long ago the break up, or for how long the relationship was for, letting go of a love can be painful. I see many clients who have experienced a significant love in their life or who are struggling with a break up. After working with so many women to try and ease the pain of a break up and let go of love, I am asking a new question – do we really need to let go?
She feels like her parents are the source of her unhappiness. They don’t like her partners. They never seem satisfied with her achievements. They say they just want the best for her. But really, she just wants to feel like the best to them. And it’s not just to them, this idea of not feeling good enough affects every area of her life. And because of that, she also doesn’t feel like she’s deserving of a life she wants. Letting go of these thoughts and feelings is not an easy or quick process, but it begins with compassion.
She walks into my treatment room, sits down and sighs. She’s exhausted, she feels alone, she hates her body, she is confused about who she is and what she wants to do. “I just want to go back to the old me.” But she’s also so in love with this little person she has created and marvels at what she has received in return for all she feels she has lost. This is a story of just one client, but a story owned by so many others. This is mum life.
Since beginning this type of work, there is absolutely no hiding from the areas of myself I’d refer to as the shadow self. The more we work with people on healing their own wounds, we also cannot avoid shining a light on ours. But that’s the only way to heal and to reveal our true self, to shine a light on the darkness. So rather than hiding from the discomfort of healing, I have leaned into it (softly) and tried to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
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